You Complete Street

Shut up. Shut up. You had us at [sign language hello]. Today, 34th Street endeavors to communicate with you beyond our usual prose stylings. In our cover story, read about the American Sign Language program, which is mos def and mos deaf one of Penn's most vital. Insiders' tip: the signs on the cover of the magazine (and at right) spell out STREET! Now you can spell out other words using the letters S, T, R, and E, like REST or STRESS.  But hahaha, rest and stress are irrelevant for the next four days, 'cause it's Fling!  'Tis the day before fling, in fact, as our editor's letter expresses in verse.  We've also got a comedic faceoff in Ego, an ode to Ashlee "yes, you're that obvious" Simpson (post 7th Heaven, pre Mrs. Wentz), a Fling weekend culinary primer, and ever so much more.  So pick up the magazine, goshdarnit!

And don't forget about our writers' meeting tonight, 6:30 at 4015 Walnut.  You are allowed -- nay, encouraged -- to show up drunk.