Hail To The "Unmotivated, Irresponsible, Not Too Bright"

The first summer session officially kicked off last week, with more students than ever choosing to stay on campus and suffer for six weeks instead of lounging by the pool or hobnobbing with NYU grad students. While we're not sure whether this represents a renewed commitment to education or the failure of Penn's reputation to secure internships in such a competitive job market, we here at UTB sympathize with your suffering, Summer Quakers. Here's to you.