Do You Take Requests, Penn Band?

We went to the football game on Saturday and sat through the entire disappointing affair. Oops, not the best way to start, guys. But no biggie - there are more pressing problems at Franklin Field these days. We're talking about you, Penn Band. Listen, "Since U Been Gone," "All The Small Things" and "Final Countdown" are great, but can we get something new? We have a few suggestions.

Ice Cube - "It Was A Good Day"

We need a cocky victory song. We can get the horn section playing that silky smooth guitar sample and all of the fans rapping the lyrics. We may not be able to field the best team year in and year out, but we can definitely have the most swag booming from our stands. Also can we get the band to drop their instruments and go a capella on the lines, "Even saw the lights of the Goodyear Blimp/And it read Ice Cube's a pimp"? Thanks.

The Flaming Lips - "The WAND"

We're almost at kickoff. The crowd falls silent. The band begins this song. They handle the guitar riff, we do the clapping because who doesn't like hand claps and also it will get us pumped. The song kicks in and the band gets into it and the team runs onto the field and LET'S BEAT DARTMOUTH OR WHOEVER - WE'VE GOT THE POWER.

Bun B - "Swang On Em"

This thing was made for a big band like ours. It wouldn't be hard to get the whole crowd dancing once this gets going. So maybe we bust it out when we're losing by a lot and we need to take our attention off the field. Or if it's cold and we all need to move around a little. We trust that everyone will participate and that those who can jerk will do so.

Pernice Brothers - "Somerville"

It's a really pretty song that we would like to hear as often as possible, even if it would not work in this setting at all. But we have given you so many great ideas, so just do us this favor, okay?

Readers, do you have any suggestions? Let's hear them in the comments.