We Know All The Answers To OCR

It's the first week of interviews for On-Campus Recruiting, and we are sorry to report that here at Under the Button stress levels are high.

We are so stressed, in fact, that this morning in some kind of delirium we accidentally set a trip wire outside of Huntsman and all of our classmates are probably going to fall right over it and some may even sustain minor injuries. We are so stressed that we are incapable of remembering the simplest of things! Like, for example, this very same morning we forgot to not put a huge vat of lukewarm porridge directly on the other side of that trip wire! And, get this, then we forgot not to take Polaroid pictures of each porridge-covered student, and to not write across the photos in Sharpie "[Name] is unable to attend interviews today. Probably drunk," and to not distribute these to recruiters! The stress is taking its toll on us indeed.

“OC-Are you serious?” you might ask. Well, come to think of it, no. OCR is not really our thing. We had to ask the president of Wharton Women to explain it to us (seriously). But you know what is our thing? Giving advice!

We gave readers Ben Rosen the chance to ask questions about interviewing. Questions that are weighing heavily on all of our minds right now.

"This will be a great Q&A and because of it everyone will get a job!" we thought to ourselves. Were we right? Find out after the jump.

No, not at all. Not even a little bit right. These questions are unanswerable. Thanks, Ben.

Q: I called my recruiter to see what type of attire would be appropriate for my interview, but I got really nervous. Instead of reciting my carefully prepared question, I just said, "Whatchu wearin’, babes?" How do I salvage this interview?

Q: The only shirt I own with a collar is a Hawaiian shirt. This is not a concern, just wanted you to know.

Q: People say body language is important in an interview, but so is staying relaxed. How do I remain a viable candidate for this job while answering my interview questions in the fetal position, which is how I'm most comfortable?

Q: How do I get confidence?

Q: The interviewer asked, "What's your favorite book?" I said, "Are we talking chapter books?" He asked me to leave. From now on, should I assume they are asking about picture books?

Q: What's an appropriate amount of money to give my interviewer? Note: I am unqualified for the job and I will be wearing zip-off cargo shorts.

Q: I am in the middle of an interview. The interviewer asked me to name my favorite class. I did. She asked, "What it's about?" I said, "It's about 50 minutes." Nobody has spoken since. It's been 15 minutes. What do I do?

Q: Did you know that if you rearrange the letters in "campus interview" you get "a super new victim?" How should I interpret that to get myself as scared as possible for the interview?