Portrait Battle Part 1: Nursing Vs. Engineering

One of the dumbest things to argue about is which school at Penn is the best. We're all friends here! Still, we're kind of wondering, you know? So let's figure this out once and for all based on the only logical criteria: portraits of professors hanging in the schools' respective buildings. Fill out the bracket below, start a pool with your friends and check out the first match up, Nursing vs. Engineering, after the jump.

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ROUND 1

Ladies first. In first place, that is. Sure, the kind gentleman on the right has some things going for him. His hair looks like his mustache, and his mustache is very handsome. But the darkness that surrounds him is sort of spooky, and so are the very long black coat and the high-collared blouse. Our lady friend, however, looks as kind and welcoming as, say, a talk show host. This talk show host, of course - the one she looks exactly like. Also: sweet broach!

WINNER: NURSING

ROUND 2

It's one thing to wear booty shorts to the gym, club or taping of Sisqo's Shakedown, but this is an official portrait. Look at her opponent. A wonderful mustache, an equally charming bowtie, a tuxedo and a perfectly shined head. We can't see his chair, but we guarantee it wasn't folded up and stuck in a closet after the sitting. It was also facing the correct direction.

WINNER: ENGINEERING

ROUND 3

Okay, she has a medal. So right off the bat, that makes us think she's a winner. Now let's just move our eyes over to the right to confirm that Nursing has taken this round and OH MY GOD. Is that a leopard print tie? Are his bangs truly so much shorter than his hair? Does every Engineering professor worth painting have that mustache? Are you guys as turned on as we are by that eraser in his left hand? Will that equation be on the midterm? Professor? Professor? Seriously, stop posing for that painting. I need to know if that's going to be on the midterm.

WINNER: ENGINEERING

FINAL SCORE: ENGINEERING 2, NURSING 1

Next week: The College vs. Wharton!