RPI Explains This Global Pandemic Using Words We Understand
October 13, 2009 at 3:02 pm
You can try to stop Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute students from partying, but they love getting crunk to the power of wasted all divided by what-a-blackoutrageous-night (NERDS). But swine flu, the ultimate party pooper, started ruining their buzz and the administration needed to step in. According to the New York Post,
"The director of the college’s health center sent a message to RPI students and staff warning against playing drinking games after a group of students contracted swine flu during a weekend of socializing."It's a good thing they told everyone about the whole drinking games thing because even though we realized this very contagious infection could be transferred via shared drinks, we didn't know that applied to our beer pong beer! We were reading that article with one hand holding a ping-pong ball and the other holding a drink, and we were so shocked we almost stepped right through our computer with the foot we were typing with.
So Penn, start acting like RPI and explain things in ways us college kids can understand. Warnings against obesity must be put in terms of ramen noodles and fried oreos. Statistics on depression must be expressed using how we feel when we don't get texted after our walks of shame. Because if you don't, we're just going to end up fat and sad in addition to being swine-flu-y and that would be such a bummer.