Some Of These Are Posterrific But Some Are Posterrible

Freshman elections are finally here and we realize how confusing, scary and annoying they may be.

So, please, take our hand as we guide you through the campaigns of competing fresh-faced power mad teenagers thirsty for your approval and your votes. Since the candidates have only been here a month, without any real chance to put anything on their resumes, it's up to us to tell you why you should vote for anyone other than the kid with the funniest name, or "poop" as a write-in. We are up to this challenge.

Today's Topic: Campaign Posters

Pictures, analysis, and a completely arbitrary numerical rating system after the jump.

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. On the first day of the campaign, we hit the trail (Locust Walk) bright and early, ready to be wowed by name-based rhymes everywhere. Instead, we found an election ghost town. The only thing, or should we say candidate, that kept us from openly weeping was one KASIA "FIERCE!"

Covering Wenjin Liu's poster, despite the fact that she isn't even running for the same position: +92 But wait, in change we DO believe: -93! Choosing a rhyme that only works when spoken: -5 Not promising anything but ferocity: 0 Number of these posters on campus: 7132 TOTAL: We can't count that high. FIERCE!

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If you've been directly in front of Claire M. Fagin Hall recently, you probably know all there is to know about Sophie Yu. She's that girl who's like a car, you know? The one who comes to class the first day with more than just an apple. Let's take a look at her platform:

Inaccuracy of statement "Freshman Formal happens only once:" -3 Suggested Titanic theme: - 1,517 Occasional bold lettering: +4 Party Favors: +3 (more if candidate guarantees these) TOTAL: -1,513

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Since the dawn of time, man has been ripping off that Uncle Sam poster. Every year, millions superimpose their own faces over Sam's, but few are willing to recreate it for you while they tie their beautiful creation around a tree. Will: our red, white and blue top hat is off to you.

Resume on the poster: -2 Border: +3 Posing alongside poster: +100 TOTAL: 101! Go Will!

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He's a creature of the night, wasting away in dive bars, just trying to forget all that pain. He wears a hat to hide his face from the bright lights and a trench coat to protect him from the accumulated filth of all your sex and murder. He lurks in the shadows of what looks to be 1800s London. He is Ralph...and he wants you to write him in for Freshman SAS rep!

Fighting the system and entering the race as a write in: +5 Being too lazy to get his paperwork in on time and entering the race as a write in: -6 Really committing to this being mysterious thing: +2 Telling us not to be tardy for the Sept. 5th toga party: -11 TOTAL: -10