Don't Forget To Say You Will

It's Shoutout season again. A time when friends and enemies across campus send us hilariously terrible things about each other, and Lowbrow picks the best ones to print. With your new-found mastery of the 140 character diss, it should be easy as pie to get your words heard this year. Here are some of our favorites from the past:

To the girls at the frat party who made me do two keg stands and then carried my nonresponsive body to the lobby of Hillel, assumedly because I was wearing a yarmulke: ???? ?? ??????!

To my Chinese teacher: You’re the most precious person alive and we all secretly want to hug you.

To Alternate Spring Break: I'm going to Cancun. To get shitfaced. But I'll be wearing a white "Save Darfur" t-shirt in the wet t-shirt contest.

If you still aren't sure what Shoutouts are all about, check out a step-by-step guide to writing them after the jump. Send in your own by Nov. 15 to street-shoutouts@dailypennsylvanian.com. HOW TO WRITE A SHOUTOUT: A Step-by-Step Guide (courtesy of former Lowbrow editors, Pam and Jen)

1. Pick a person, group or thing you feel strongly about. That person can be yourself and the group can be one you are a part of, but be subtle/general about who you are referencing. It's funnier if it could be about one of three guys in Kappa Epsilon Gamma as opposed to two, you know? Begin by addressing them: "To ______"

2. Express your feelings towards them in a clever, succinct way. Even if you want the person to die, there may be a better way of saying it than "DIE." Though simile is useful, metaphor is preferred. Anecdote, alliteration and analogy are like rays of sunshine on a page of hatred. The more original the explosion of emotion, the more likely it is to get inked.

3. To cap off the Shoutout, there is the optional "From ______" that you can add at the end. You should probably make this funny as well. Don't sign your real name, doofus.

This is a bad shoutout: To Sally in Rodin: You're such a whore. Fuck you. From, Your Roommate.

This is an awesome shoutout: To the sorority soph who did coke off my dick at Denim: I can't believe I wasted such good blow on such a bad one.