Shout It Out NOW!

It’s Street Shoutout time again! E-mail them to shoutouts@34st.com by April 18th at noon.

You should know what to do, but in case you don't: check out Lowbrow eds Ben Rosen and Charlotte Borgen's friendly advice for crafting the perfect Shoutout.

Be genuine. Say what you feel in your heart of hearts. EXAMPLE: To the girl on Beige who gets lots of attention: That’s because you have big jugs. I mean, your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze ‘em!

If you’re going to shout someone out, why not own up to it? EXAMPLE: To the MERT whose bike I stole: Sorry. From, the jackass who ended up having to call you and get medical amnestied five minutes later.

Sometimes less is more. EXAMPLE: To the football player who begged me to hold his dick while he peed: No.

More pearls of Shoutout wisdom, after the jump.

Don’t do this: To (person you know through some organization or class): you can (double entendre related to that organization or class) anytime.

Say what we’re all thinking. EXAMPLE: To the kids with names like Zshu-Liau who asked to be called Jen on the first day of class: If you’re not going to use Zshu-Liau, can I? A name like that shouldn’t go to waste.

Be as specific as possible. EXAMPLE: To the only other person who’s had sex under the Button, on the Button, through a hole in the Button, on top of the Love sculpture, in the Blarney bathroom, at the top of 38th Street bridge, and on the 8th floor of Huntsman: What a fucking year. Happy Anniversary, baby!

It’s okay to be nice. EXAMPLE: To my Chinese teacher: You’re the most precious person alive and we all secretly want to hug you.