This Week In Crime

Oh, hello - I didn't see you there, DP crime log. Why so modest? Sure, you were a little shorter than usual (good job staying legal, everyone), but you were totally on top of your game nonetheless! Here, let's take a peek at some of the glitteriest gems from your chronicle of law gone wrong.

File under "Shocking," "Appalling," and "Lies! All Lies!": there was an attempted break in at Cream and Sugar! At around 3:15 am on October 14th, an unknown suspect reportedly attempted to gain entry to West Philadelphia's most legitimate bakery, which is run by legitimate business people and turns a legitimate profit by entirely legitimate means. What would one even steal from a bakery so pure of heart?

There's a little more after the jump.

On the 12th, someone reported that she allegedly had cash removed from her wallet at Drinker's West. Hmm - call us skeptical, but whenever we wake up poorer than we thought we were at the end of the night, it's usually a case of having bought more drinks than we care to remember. Can't blame someone else for your own insatiable thirst, can you?

Also, lots of bikes were stolen (note to readers: outside Leidy Labs is apparently a bicycle thief's playground) and some dudes allegedly shoplifted from Urban Outfitters. See you next week, degenerates!