This Week In Crime

It's Wednesday again, and you know what that means: some top notch crime reportáge from our friends at the DP. Because you don't want to read about unattended-iPod theft any more than we do (come on people - at least ask someone to keep an eye on your shit!), we've sorted through the legal wreckage of the week to bring you the most enticing scraps. Join us, won't you?

On the 16th, a 39 year old male student reported that his laptop was allegedly stolen from his unattended bag in Van Pelt. OK, first things first: the age thing is really throwing us. Does this mean that all the disheveled olds that we see carrying plastic bags full of newspaper and old computers through Rosengarten are actually enrolled? We thought they were just there to use the bathroom, but hey - looks like the parents-in-your-CGS-class have reasons for occasionally visiting the library, too.

Things get literary (no they don't) after the jump.

It's rare that West Philadelphia crime mirrors works of abstract fiction by annoyingly aloof writers, but it looks like that happened on October 16th. A 21 year old dude unaffiliated with the University was arrested for allegedly shoplifting at American Apparel, which we find funny for two reasons: 1. Dude was probably just trying to get the necessary materials for his Halloween costume (why bother paying for something you'll only wear once?), and 2. "Shoplifting From American Apparel" is the name of a book by this guy, who devotes most of his time to making our skin crawl. That's about it.

Also, someone didn't pay for their meal at Pizza Rustica and someone else outed himself as a resident of Sansom Place East, simply by reporting credit card fraud. Chaos reigns!