Cliff Notes

UTB Ed's note: Sometimes, we just wanna talk about sports. But since we're not super-prepared to do that with things like "facts," we've enlisted the help of our friends over at The Buzz to help us make sense of sports things. Wondering why everyone's statuses and Twitters are about "Cliff Lee?" Wondering who that is in the first place, or why he's so important? Wonder no more.

In an attempt to foil every sports fan’s studying habits, pitcher Cliff Lee made a late-night deal with the Phillies Monday, sending the baseball world into shock and disbelief.

Lee will rejoin the very team that exiled him to Seattle a year ago, when Philadelphia couldn’t afford him. He was then traded mid-season to the Texas Rangers, where he eventually made his way to the 2010 World Series and lost to San Francisco.

Read on to find out why this is so exciting-- and how it affects Penn kids!

Now the 2008 Cy Young winner and two-time All-Star (read: he's got credentials) returns to South Philly to be part of a pitching rotation that includes Roy Halladay, Roy Oswalt and Cole Hamels — essentially making the Phillies to baseball what the Miami Heat are to the NBA, except the Phillies will likely live up to expectations (and not be so tall).

The deal further proves why Philly is better than New York City, as Lee reportedly turned down $154 million from the Yankees and opted for some $30 million less with the Phils.

What does this mean for Penn students?

First, Penn15-es can stop rooting for whatever non-Phillies team you root for because it will just lead to heartbreak and disappointment. Or something like that.

Second, now every time a College House organizes a trip to Citizens Bank Park in September, the Phillies are pretty much guaranteed to win. So go, bond with your hall! Third, all you diehard Phils fans who bought Lee jerseys back in 2009 can dust ‘em off and quietly put the Jayson Werth shirts in their place.