Meet The Mayors: Douglas Cosmetics

Welcome back to Meet The Mayors, our glimpse into the tech nerds social elite that make up Penn's Foursquare mayorships. Joining us is Paige R., a College sophomore from Orlando, Florida with the distinct honor of being the Last Mayor of Douglas.

UTB: As mayor of Douglas Cosmetics, how did you feel when the storied establishment closed this year in favor of Blue Mercury? Paige R.: At first, I couldn't help but feel hurt and betrayed. As mayor,  I found it strange that they didn't consult me before making such drastic changes. I remember buying my last eyeliner from Douglas in its original form on the eve of their closing. The sales associates were giving out free champagne and baked goods as a kind of consolatory measure; unfortunately, a mini-peanut butter cupcake can't mend a broken heart...

UTB: Here's the question on everyone's mind: WHY did you go to Douglas so much? Paige R.: Just like that sketchy bookstore next to Pi Lam, Amy Gutmann's "house," and Taglio, Douglas may or may not have been a drug front and I may or may not have been their #1 dealer. Emphasis on the may not, I just wear a lot of eyeliner.

UTB: Did you have a favorite Douglas cosmetic? Why? Paige R.: Coincidentally enough, my favorite Douglas Cosmetic (Deborah Lippmann's Happy Birthday nail polish...sparkly shit FTW) is the same as my new favorite BM product. One thing I quickly realized about the switch was that it was only skin deep. The only changes were the name on the door and the color of the shopping bags. Patrons will be pleased to know that Blue Mercury employees are just as disinterested, bitchy, and judgmental as those of Douglas.

UTB: Blue Mercury currently does not have a mayor. Is this a position you are interested in? Paige R.: I've thought a lot about THEOD (the old Douglas, of course) and who will become the new mayor. In many ways, I feel like my benevolent rule has come to an end, that it's time to let someone else experience the sheer joy of being cosmetic commander in chief. After all, did Napoleon attempt a comeback when he lost power of the French Empire? Wait..did he though? Fuck, I dunno. I'm not a history major.

UTB: Given that you are also mayor of SDT, AEPi Deck House and TEP, please briefly quantify how Jewish you are. Paige R.: True confessions: I was never bat mitzvah'd. But keep that on the DL or TEP won't let me into their parties or SDT will ban me from the kitchen or I'll be tarred and feathered or nothing will happen whatsoever. That's just not a risk I'm willing to take...