Study: "Give Up Now, Second Tier Students"

Hey, seniors in search of i-banking and consulting jobs - employed yet? No?

Meh, don't sweat it - that was probably never going to happen anyway. At least, that's what a recent study published in Research in Social Stratification and Mobility would have you think. The Chronicle of Higher Education reports that recruiters from tippy-top banks and consultancies tend to favor students from Harvard, Yale, and Princeton and "maybe Stanford" above...pretty much everything. Wharton sorta makes the cut, but a diploma from anywhere else (the rest of the Ivy League included) is pretty much worthless to these wangs. Hell, even M.I.T. engineers get the shaft. The following is an actual quote from a real live headhunter:

"You will find it when you go to like career fairs or something and you know someone will show up and say, you know, “Hey, I didn’t go to HBS [Harvard Business School] but, you know, I am an engineer at M.I.T. and I heard about this fair and I wanted to come meet you in New York.” God bless him for the effort but, you know, it’s just not going to work."

Shnikes. And don't bother submitting your resume, either: anything without an appearance from HYP in the "Education" section "pretty much goes into a black hole."

Oh, you're not worried about it because you have a 4.0? Ha! As if that means anything.

Honestly, though, 4.0's are nerdy as hell. You'd be a more competitive candidate with a GPA that hovers near 3.7 and some seriously serious extracurriculars. Acceptable pursuits include "literally climbing Everest or winning an Olympic medal." There's always spring break, right?