What's HapPENNing?

It seems like just yesterday we were putting on our Uggs and North Face black Denali jackets as we headed we headed to class, lunch at Gia and then back home to make ~*super cute*~ posters for our littles! LOL!!! Well, now that the weather is getting warmer and we're taking off all our clothes (Teehee!), it's time to take a look at what's going down on campus this week.

Open Bar for Vagina Monologues Who: UPenn Vagina Monologues When and where: Tuesday, 8 p.m.–midnight; City Tap House Why: For $20, you can enjoy the delights of an open bar and get absurdly drunk on a Tuesday. But it's okay, because all proceeds go towards great charities. Yay! Vaginas!

Jeff Civillico: Comedy in Action Who: JD/MBA Assocation When and where: Tuesday, 9–10 p.m.; Ambani Auditorium (Huntsman) WTF: It's $10, but you'll get to see some amazing "comedy, juggling, balancing, and athleticism!" Huh? What do you mean you don't want to go?!

Meet Topher Grace and Teresa Palmer Who: SPEC Film When and where: Wednesday, 12–1 p.m.; Cafe 58 (Irvine) WTF: Hollywood! Glamor! Autographs! Fame! Grace was in The '70s Show and Palmer was in The Grudge 2, so you know it'd be a mistake not to go. Or wait–  it would be a mistake to go, right? Whatever. Decide for yourself.

Speakeasy: Poetry, Prose, and Anything Goes! Who: Kelly Writers House When and where: Wednesday, 8–9 p.m.; Kelly Writers House Why: Express yourself! Your poetry deserves to be heard by an audience. Just make sure to put in that septum piercing and catch up with Pitchfork beforehand and you'll be the cat's meow!

The Vagina Monologues Who: UPenn Vagina Monologues When and where: Friday and Saturday, 8–10 p.m.; Irvine Auditorium Why: Tickets are $8 on the Walk and $10 at the door, but that's a small price to pay to cover the guilt of avoiding eye contact with these screaming Locust-ladies. As one fellow Quaker griped, "I can't wait for Vag-Mons to be over so those girls will shut up." We (v)agree.