Bachelorette Buzz: Week Four

Week snore Four of The Bachelorette opens with host Chris Harrison's announcement to the boys that they're all packing up to meet Ashley in Phuket, Thailand.

Week Four also inspires viewers to create a wonderful drinking game: take a shot each time Ashley mentions Bentley throughout the episode. Warning: side effects may include a busted liver and no recollection of the second half of the episode.

In Thailand, Ashley meets with Annie, a navigator, which is apparently the mansion/villa equivalent of a hotel concierge, and tells her that she needs to plan a few dates…with 12 guys. In response to Annie's, "Oh my God!," Ashley assures the navigator that "these guys are hot."

Once the boys settle in, Constantine is chosen for a one-on-one a date to “sea” Phuket. Ashley wants to take a boat out to a private beach—Wait, is her hair five shades lighter? Another post-breakup color change? Yeah, we all caught that—but the weather sucks and they can’t.

The couple decides instead to explore the city. They play dress-up with clothing at the market, reminding everyone watching that these scenes are only cute in the context of a teen movie montage with a cheesy song in the background.

But the awkwardness only gets worse. Constantine has the brilliant idea of talking to a native. They recruit some random girl off the street who speaks English to translate, and the two interrogate a random man. “What do you want to ask him?” she asks them legitimately. Uncomfortable pause.

After establishing that the random man has been married for 36 years, Ashley asks if he has any advice to impart on the lovebirds. “The key is to forgive and forget. Don’t try to win.” Ashley, of course, takes this nugget of wisdom completely out of context and applies the bit about winning to the show’s competition.

Sidenote about what goes on in white people's heads: What, a random old Asian man speaking a foreign language? Wow, he simply must be a wise prophet!

Meanwhile, the rest of the boys sit at home trying to count up who’s kissed Ashley.

The next day, Ashley takes the guys on a group date to renovate (read: decorate) a local orphanage. She puts the men to very manly work like painting and planting. Ryan tries to orchestrate the whole thing and gets on everyone’s nerves, but Ben F. paints an elephant on a wall, so he earns himself a smooch later.

That night, Ashley makes her rounds with the guys, taking them aside for 10-minute conversations which often lead to open face-sucking. This is awkward because all of the guys are right there. Watching. Ben F. gets the date rose, and everyone calls it a night.

The next one-on-one date is with Ames, previously referred to in these recaps as Ivy Man. He’s been to Phuket before—twice. Ashley and Ames kayak through little islands and caves on the sea, which is super romantic, but also doesn't prevent us from realizing that Ashley's recycling the date that was meant for Constantine.

Anyway, Ashley and Ames have dinner and connect. It’s boring.

Then, as all the previews throughout the episode have promised, Blake confronts Ryan about how much everyone hates him. Apparently the guys find him to be too intensely optimistic. The confrontation turns into a non-frontation.

At the rose ceremony, Ashley’s supposed to choose only ten guys, but she's scared that she might miss out on the next Bentley, so she decides to keep eleven. After ten tedious minutes of "Bla bla, will you accept this rose?," West is sent home because his wife died, and Ashley can't bear the thought of competing with her for a spot in West's heart.

The end.

Next week: More Bentley.

Want more TV Recaps? Check out Street's dish on the Real Housewives of NJ here.