If Looks (And Fetishes) Could Kill

Do you know Edythe Maa, the former Penn materials science Ph.D. candidate? Oh, you know, the one who goes by the name Jade Vixen and moonlighted as a dominatrix before becoming a fetish model? No? That's probably a good thing, considering her past two boyfriends have been found dead.

Back in 2008, when Jade was still one of New York City's most well-known dominatrices, she dated a Manhattan attorney with a bit of a thing for the kinky. Tragically, one of Jade's obsessive fans killed her boyfriend before kidnapping Jade. That's messed UP.

Various news sources now report that another one of Maa's boyfriends has died. Last month, Maa arrived home to find her beau, Peter Stelzenmuller, dead  in their attic wearing a full scuba suit, including mask and tubes. While his obituary indicated he died while testing the scuba equipment for an upcoming vacation to Mexico, the popo are suspicious. Considering the vixen's history of S&M and "stuff on her website about oxygen deprivation and all that," they are treating this as a case of autoeroticism gone wrong...-er.

The burning questions are endless: Will Maa be linked to the death? Will she return to Penn to finish her Ph.D.? And mostly importantly, will she become the next great materials science engineer and finally develop the perfect non-stick, non-heat conducting latex so dominators the world over can practice their art even during the peak of a sweltering New York summer?