Hump Day Horoscope

The stars have aligned and UTB is divinely inspired to deliver today's horoscope. Behold our interpretations.

Aries:  This is a real time to buckle down and fortify your career. Go on, fortify! Perhaps consider paying a visit to Claire Klieger. (<3)

Taurus: Wear colorful clothing and stay positive. Put on your trendiest gear and strut your stuff down Locust Runway as if you were a D2S model. You're a star!

Gemini: Today there may be a disagreement with what you say or think. You're about to stir up some controversial debate in class, earning yourself the label of "that dude who believes [insert dissenting political opinion here]."

Cancer: Enjoy the art of dancing this evening--feel the freedom of movement in harmony with rhythms and sound. Hop on the bar at Copa Wednesday and shake your tail feather like nobody's because everybody's watching, gurl.

Leo: Take your time in making decisions. Five words: Spring semester classes are up.

Virgo: Relationships and the social life in general come knocking at your door today and they come in all sorts of ways. Tonight, an a capella group, a fraternity and the football team will ring your doorbell and give you Insomnia cookies.

Libra: There is an urge to join your friends in some social affair this evening. BUT YOU HAVE SOOOO MUCH WORK AND HAVE TO LOCK YOURSELF IN VAN PELT.

Scorpio: Control your imagination tonight. You must cool it with the TA fantasies.

Sagittarius: You possess, at the core, an intensity that burns strong. Pre-med, pre-law AND dual degree? Get out.

Capricorn:  Invest in art, jewelry or collectibles. We hear the bookstore has a lovely selection of merchandise.

Aquarius: Starting over seems to be the story for today. So you forget what you did last night. The time is ripe to re-invent!

Pisces: You may benefit from a senior or one in authority. You can either earn an A+ in physics by going to office hours or an A+ in public humiliation when you walk of shame home from an off campus abode.