UTB's Ultimate Guide To Procrastination

It's Sunday afternoon, you're holed up in VP and what are you doing? Not studying, of course. Though many of us have honed the valuable skills necessary to hunt for undiscovered Netflix treasure and still submit that paper on time, there's always room for improvement (after all, practice makes perfect, right?). Behold, dear readers, UTB's Ultimate Guide To Procrastination(on-on-on)!:

UTB'S ULTIMATE GUIDE TO PROCRASTINATION

• 1. Surf The 'Net--This is the classic form of procrastination, and it's also the easiest. However, instead of trolling Facebook or Twitter, try talking animals or food porn! That brings us to our next point...
• 2. Bake Like There's No Tomorrow--Who doesn't love a good pancake--or muffin, or cupcake or other dainty-sounding pastry that falls apart when you touch it? That's why you should devote the ENTIRE DAY to baking. Pumpkin scones? Done. Almond croissants? Suck it, Starbucks. Bonus: these goods double as prime bribery material when asking your professor(s) for a deadline extension.
• 3. Get Discovered--It's time to unleash your inner Mariah Carey, girlfriend. Grab that plastic recorder, a tambourine and a faux-fur vest: you are one tribal tattoo away from YouTube *~*~stardom~*~* (or for those of you who "can't" sing, sexually charged dancing should do the trick)!
• 4. Walk To Center City--Going outside may not be on the top of your to-do list while nursing that hangover, but do it anyway. Fresh Fall weather, a taste of the locals, brunch, brunch and, um, brunch are all fantastic reasons to crawl out from beneath your shroud of misery (bed). A light solo stroll through Clark Park would also suffice.
• 5. Call Your Mom--This is a last-resort effort to avoid all things Blackboard, but it's also fail-proof. Admit it, your parents love to hear from you, even if the only topics of conversation are the dreaded, "So, honey, what do you think you'll be doing next year?" and your Auntie Kim's latest cat fight. If your parents live close, suggest an afternoon outing! Afternoon outings = free food. Always.