Hump Day Horoscope: Homecoming Hullabaloo

Football and geezers and face paint, oh my! The planets have aligned and Quakers young, old and somewhere in between will fortuitously cross paths this weekend. See what the stars have in store for you.

Aries: If you are celebrating the seasonal activities, now is a good time to order the food or reserve your hotel room. Attention returning alumni: if you failed to book a suite at the Inn at Penn, you may be forced to spend the night on a mystery stain-covered couch in your old frat house.

Taurus:  You might be embarrassed about doing yoga and relaxation exercises, but you will enjoy the results. You finally let your friend drag you to Dhyana Yoga and you let out a humiliating toot during mid-downward-upfacing ninja warrior tree pose. Don't worry, though—the only thing that cutie across the room noticed is how flexible you are ;).

Gemini: Your common sense is good and you move in the right direction for your professional advancement. You may think your bombed your case interview, but you did well not to seduce your OCR interviewer as a last ditch attempt to salvage your chances. You did better than you think—second round here you come!

Cancer: An award may come to you through your work today. Hooray! You will be selected as "Employee of the Month" for all your work at the Van Pelt circulation desk.

Leo: A better means of transportation has been needed for some time and now is a good time to look around and make some decisions. We hear ZBT is looking to give away the fine automobile they used for Carsmash.

Virgo: You could be leading a group discussion today and it may deal with some sort of academic crusades. Get ready to spearhead a tough debate on the value of the straw man essay in your writing seminar.

Libra: Circumstances arise that give you the freedom and the opportunity to do something you have never done before. Freshman: older, wealthy women abound this weekend. Let the cougars have their fresh meat.

Scorpio: You could teach better business techniques to executives as well as those that choose to stay at home to work or run a family. Have the confidence to tell your MGMT TA to shove it for docking points off your obviously correct answer.

Sagittarius: Take advantage of all the opportunities to do some valuable networking this evening as you attend a social event. We hear Reagan Gomez-Preston may be looking for a sidekick for a hilarious new sitcom...or not.

Capricorn: More than one person will seek your advice about sensitive matters this afternoon so, weather permitting, move on outside for a bit of exercise, if possible. Get out of your sorority house NOW before three of your sisters come hysterically seeking advice about what dress to wear to dinner tomorrow night.

Aquarius: If you are taking a test, an exam or studying today, you may have to have a long talk with yourself in order to stay in your chair and keep at it. That is, if you are named Adelle (Addy for short).

Pisces: Be as self-confident and assertive as you like, because you are going to get what you want in this life. You are in Wharton.