Say Yes To No Shave November

It's finally here! The ubiquitous sensation most call "No Shave November," or "Movember" is the month when frat bros and scruffy GDIs unite in their collective ability to grow fantastic food catchers beards and 'staches. To get into the Grizzly Adams spirit, we've come up with a few ways you can participate in No Shave November without compromising your sanity (i.e. looking like a serial killer at Thanksgiving dinner).

• Use a comb. Girls do it. Your mom does it. You can do it. Brushing the bird's nests out of your beard instantly brightens up your appearance. If you're feeling extra wild, splurge on some CVS brand pomade! Because you're worth it.
• Get fancy. Hair may not be your first priority (see next bullet point), but don't let that repress your coif creativity. Entrench yourself in Penn's past by growing a Du Bois, or, if you're feeling extra radical, try a Marx! More inspiration can be found here.
• But not TOO fancy. You = college guy = getting laid is still your #1 priority. Keep that in mind before you go all Sean Connery on us.
• Avoid future employers. You may have kicked ass and taken names during OCR, but unless you're trying to make waves in the logging industry, now is the time to lay low. Then again, you could always take advantage of the scruff by making your debut on It's Always Sunny as "Homeless Man #17." Think positive!
• Remember: you are what you eat. Sandwiches? Super! Pizza? Go for it. Nachos? STOP RIGHT THERE. Snacks are one thing, but beard snacks are an entirely different animal. Literally, an animal. One that smells. And lives on your face. Don't feed that face pet anything but love.