What's HapPENNing?

Long story short, it's freezing outside. Here are some fun indoor activities going on this week.

Bipartisan State of the Union Watch Party Who: Penn Dems & College Republicans When & Where: Tuesday 8:30-11:30pm at JMHH G60 Why: If there's anything more riveting than witnessing history unfold before your very own eyes, it's probably watching paint dry. Will Shortz Who: The NY Times Crossword Puzzle Ed When & Where: Tuesday 5:30-7pm at Irvine Auditorium. Doors open at 4:45pm. Why: This is your one and only chance to meet the world's only (self-proclaimed) enigmatologist. If that's not convincing enough, then how about this four-letter word for "good reason"? F-R-E-E.

Jesse Tyler Ferguson Who: Mitchell, the ginger gay from Modern Family When & Where: Wednesday 7-10pm at the Zellerbach Auditorium Why: You didn't know who he was when you read his name, but then you Googled him and realized he's one of those people whose character's identity overshadows his actual identity. Like the chick from My Big Fat Greek Wedding—you'd love her to come, but you have no idea what her real name is.

Jeff Mangum Who: Indie musician and front man of Neutral Milk Hotel When & Where: Wednesday 8pm at Irvine Auditorium Why: The show's sold out, but it's not too late to convince your friend about how lame it's gonna be and then casually offer to buy his ticket.

VagMons Happy Hour Who: The Vagina Monologues When & Where: Friday 5-7pm at Tap House Why: All proceeds go to female empowerment!