NSO Etiquette: 20 Helpful Hints

Attention freshmen: Yes, we realize that you'll probably be unconscious within 12 hours of reading this post, and yes, we're going to be there to take photos and show them to the university (we're joking, honestly!), but not without heeding some advice first. Here are 20 tips to get you started on your first few days at Penn:

1. If you're a girl, save us all the trouble and wear flats when you go out and get drunk. Just don't do it, okay?
2. If you're a guy, frat boys will only be nice to you during NSO, so enjoy the keg while it lasts.
3. No funny business with anyone on your hall...yet. You're going to be living together all year, remember?
4. If you come across any juice that is in any way jungle related, drink it. Cuz it's fo free. Drink, refill, repeat.
5. Bragging about your SAT and AP scores will make it difficult for people to be your friend.
6. Your Bursar bill shows up as "Miscellaneous cost" on your student bill. You buy an iPad at the Bookstore, mom and dad think you bought your Math 104 textbook. Easy. Also terrible.
7. Be friendly with your RA/GA, but don't be friends with them. He or she doesn't want to take shots with you, trust.
8. You will know at least five people who will cry after their first set of midterms.
9. Wawa will be your crutch 24/7.
10. Jimmy John's is at 40th and Walnut. It closes at 3AM and will sober you up just enough to save you from a potentially embarrassing tumble on your stumble back to the Quad.  It will serve as crutch #2.
11. The freshman 15 is a joke. The freshman 20 is not.
12. If you're too wasteface to swipe into your college house, an ambulance will be called. Same rule applies to vomming in the lobby. You will never bring your family honor.
13. Don't get in any hot tubs...just don't.
14. Get a smartphone. Otherwise you'll have no friends and you'll find yourself lost and stranded in West Philly tied to a tree at 2AM. None of this is an exaggeration.
15. Grubhub is your portal to food delivery right to your door. It will contribute to rule #11.
16. When you realize the dining halls suck aren't so great, eat at the food carts. They're yummy and cheap.
17. SEPTA is cool, but Penn Transit is free. Find the stops near you and don't forget your PennCard!
18. BYOs will be a major contributor to your future wine addiction. For those of you who don't understand, these are restaurants that allow you to bring your own alcohol. They even give you cups!
19. Get involved on campus. It's easy. Don't feel intimidated!
20. If you really want to know the dirty details of what's going on around campus, read UTB. Everyone else does.