BREAKING: Susan Boyle, Nickelback To Headline Spring Fling 2K13

[Disclaimer: This post was part of our Joke Day series. Didn't the font tip you off?] Canadian power ballad babies Nickelback along with human with voice Susan Boyle are slated to appear at this year's Spring Fling, says a SPEC source who we totally didn't get drunk to force secrets from. The two superstar musical acts, who will be visiting campus in mid-April, will complete SPEC's vision for this year's Fling theme of "EFF U PENN," a follow-up to last year's popular "Once Upon a Fling" theme. 

When reached for comment, Nickelback responded, "We totally don't sound like an autotuned garbage disposal, guys. Why would you say that?" Susan Boyle, on the other hand, was all, "I'm, like, totally a good idea for Fling." And there you have it, folks, another Spring Fling we can't WAIT to get down and dirty for. Thanks, SPEC!