Sororities Vote Longchamp Bags Out

[Disclaimer: This post was part of our Joke Day series. Didn't the font tip you off?] The Panhellenic Council, which oversees the action of all sororities on campus, in a meeting last night, unanimously voted to ban any affiliated sorority girl from carrying Longchamp bags anywhere on campus. Panhel cites the company’s cruel ways in which they procure the leather for their bags as the primary reason for their decision. We’re guessing secondary reasons include repeated Longchamp-bag mix-ups at chapter meetings and the stifled individuality that comes free with every Longchamp purchase.

Enforcement of this new rule will be imposed immediately, and punishment ranges from “a talking to” to fines and even forced deactivation in cases of extreme rebellion.  Freshman and sophomore girls planning to rush in the spring are being advised to also boycott the brand in an act of solidarity.  Looks like it’s time to start carrying your lettered sweatshirts and paddles in something else, girls, because the ubiquitous Longchamp bags are officially out.