12 Ways To Make The Best Of Perelman Money

The Perelmans strike again! Ronald Perelman recently made a $25 million dollar donation to create the Ronald O. Perelman Center for Political Science and Economics,  a soon-to-be home for the PolySci and Econ departments. Wo0ho0. Amy G. must be thrilled. But what about the rest of us?  Let's step back and take a glance at where that money could be going:

1. Rename the Medical School again for another $225 million, this time the RON Perelman School.
2. Free shuttle service to DRL.
3. An Italian food food truck (We're talkin’ penne ala vodka, ravioli, chicken parm—the works. WHY DO WE NOT HAVE AN ITALIAN FOOD FOOD TRUCK?)
4. New APES house. We're sure you feel bad they got kicked off of campus, too.
5. A jacket for the copy-of-the-paper girl who thought it was springgtime when she left her room this morning to hand out the DP.
6. Compensation for all the stolen Houston food.
7. Beyonce for Spring Fling.
8. Ke$ha for Spring Fling. Molly included.
9. Shower heads (that don't scream) in the college houses.
10. Balsamic vinaigrette in McClelland -- because nothing is worse than having to put questionable oil and vinegar on your already questionable salad.
11. Computers that only College kids can access. Or Engineering. Or Nursing.
12. A new Math and Physics building that has no association with David Rittenhouse or laboratories.