Posts From Last Night

So we know where everyone went for spring break, but only God knows what everyone was doing. Oh wait, so do we. Thanks to our generation's BFF status with social media and over-sharing, a quick glance at Facebook gave us a nice idea of what our fellow Quakers were up to. See who made the cut!

This caffeine addict friend-of-yours was having THE most wonderful time in Puerto Rico. Little known fact, Puerto Rico is known for coffee (this fact is so obscure, a search for "coffee" on Puerto Rico's Wikipedia page brings up no results). In fact for the locals, coffee and "Port-oh-reeko" are synonymous (both mean gringo). Was it even fair trade? You self-indulgent tourist.

 Broooo those mountains were ridiculous! It's been real dude, but now I gotta go hit up Grams, she's the illest. Sounds like a wholesome spring break! Just remember to turn off your "crush" mentality, man. One too many shower beers will have Grams a little suspicious, and you DO NOT want her to mistake your Corona for shampoo.

OMG YOU WERE IN MIAMIII TOO?! Points for not even trying to pass off your vacation as anything constructive, like Ms. Best-Coffee-Ever or Boca Boy above. But this friend-of-yours is proud to say they've bested Pauly D and Snooki? No words.

OK WE GET IT, totally outgoing-active-fulfilled traveler! This friend is probably hitting up the same night clubs as Señorita Cafe Con Leche, but instead of sitting around in "authentic" cafes or getting plastered, they're taking tons of some super lame selfies. You make us feel almost as bad as the ASBers do. Almost.

And what do YOU have to say for yourself? Akin to that one friend who constantly sends you snapchats of their cat, this person has probably forgotten that we in fact DON'T need to know that they will not be tweeting for 15 minutes while they shower. After posting this they probably went back to posting links from Pintrest onto their friends' walls. Suggestion: take up the normal "home for break" activities.