Skinny People Have Better Sex: CONFIRMED

Sex-crazed women of Penn—great news! For those of us who are trying to convince our parents to pay for bariatric surgery so we can be #soskinny, we now have yet another reason: an improved sex life! According to a six-year study done by researchers at Penn Med, women who underwent bariatric surgery reported significant improvements in sexual desire and satisfaction, as well as… lubrication? Praise tha lawd—girls these days just don’t have enough motivation to go under the knife.

Researchers also found that several participants started experiencing some relaysh problems post-surgery. Maybe some enterprising young student will fill the “I-Got-Bariatric-Surgery-And-Now-I’m-Too-Hot-To-Put-Up-With-Your-Shit” greeting card niche?

Next up: a study on how getting a boob job can increase your IQ.