STREET Presents: Shoutouts and Senior Superlatives!

Gossip Squirrel here. Your one and only source into the lives of Penn's scandalous elite. Except not cultural elite—it's only senior superlatives. Spotted: some thankful Penn students SABSing on the Van Pelt couches just longing for Thanksgiving break. Although the winter blues might be causing a serious lack of drama, I can tell you who's going down next: Daughtry.

And here's a scandal for you: my sources tell me that two Penn frosh went on a blind date with some mood lighting. Dating? "Dinner and a movie?" So passé. Unless it's Pod or White Dog, you're not good enough for Gossip Squirrel.

But if my dish isn't enough for you, there's always your own submissions. You may think I'm bad, but you're your own worst enemy.