A-Phi Lineage Makes Ridiculous Website, Hilarity Ensues

The Elevated Surfaces Lin of Alpha Phi wants you to know that they're the hottest lin on campus but also, like, the most inspirational. The tagline at the top says "DANCE. PARTY. LOVE. LIVE. CLIMB. HOPE. DREAM. BELIVE. SUCCEED. SUPPORT. SISTERS. FOREVER." It's like the motivational mural on your middle school cafeteria wall except misspelled and kind of creepy! The video of various spandex-clad girls dancing on various elevated surfaces (now switched to a Cheetah Girls music video for reasons unknown) pretty much explains the name.

What does it take to be a part of this tradition, you ask? Never be afraid to make a difference. Have fun. BRAVE. Never say no because you are too scared. Things can only scare you if you let them. LAUGH. Live life to its fullest. LOVE. Open your heart and discover all the wonders that lie ahead. DREAM. No surface is too elevated; leave no Lululemon unturned.

In all seriousness, the search for a lin is a noble one. Who else will help you up when you take a drunk-girl tumble off that elevated surface? Trick question. Your lin will be right up on that elevated surface WITH you, dancin like it's nobody's bizznessss.