Penn Scientists Combat Baldness

Male pattern baldness gotcha down? Never fret! Science is here for you. The mad scientists in the Perelman Med School claim to be in the first steps of the process of full hair regrowth. Penn researchers understand the struggle of the "most common cosmetic plight" and don't want you or your scalp to be judged any longer.

Basically, they're regrowing stem cells that will generate hair follicles so you'll be looking as good as you did as a kid! But right now, they're only making hairier mice.

Next time your great uncle asks you to "rub his head for good luck," just do it with a smile. And don't be surprised if your history professor comes back in the fall with long, flowing locks. No longer will we have to worry about shiny heads; we can get down to the real problems in society: unibrows.