Quaker Days: Who Needs Hosts When All Penn Is Your Home

Dean Furda, we feel your pain. Who wouldn't think it would be incredibly easy to find housing for over 1,000 pimply pre-frosh the week before fling?

Even though it might seem like no one was listening as you pleaded for more males to host males, we were, and we have some advice. So if your hosting drive doesn't pan out, here are some alternative suggestions for Quaker Days sleeping locations that will truly give these kids a taste of what Penn is all about.

1) Under the button: Now, we might be biased, but what better way to welcome in the new baby Quakes than with an inauguration into one of Penn's most famed campus traditions? Give them that experience the brochures just don't completely capture.

2) Couches in Rosengarten: The pre-frosh could be gently lulled to sleep with the sounds of typing keys and whispered personal conversations. Honestly, they would blend right in. Just make sure they don't see this before those tuition checks are cashed.

3) Tents Around the Tampons: Even though they've been admitted, the pre-frosh need to earn their place at Penn. Over the weekend we've learned that the "Covenant" can look worse than it does now, so let's enlist at least 10 pre-frosh to scare away any vandals.

4) In Class: Everyone goes through that nocturnal stage, so let the newbies dive right in. They just need walk into any lecture (but may we recommend Intro to Psych) and snore happily in the lap of someone eating a fragrant egg & cheese. Seminars are an option, but you have to be stealthy.

5) At Dean Furda's House: Can someone say...SLEEPOVER!!! Recent admits would jump at the chance to spend the night than on the floor of the man who made this all happen. All you need is some M&Ms to put on a few slices of pizza (it's good) and a PG13 chick-flick and you have yourself a party. If it gets to crowded feel free to share the responsibility with anyone responsible for this video.

We would host, but yeah....