UTB's Hourly Guide to Fling

Amidst all the rumors and outrage, Fling and actual spring weather have finally arrived! UTB is putting aside our "Free Fling" protest signs to give you an extensive guide for this weekend. Here's how to push through 4 p.m. hangovers, Bouncy castle-induced nausea, and narc paranoia to live Fling to the fullest.

FRIDAY

10 am: Awaken and seize the Fling. Head to a discrete location to pregame. If you’re a freshman and can’t get to your friends in other parts of the Quad, pregame via Facetime so it feels (a little) less sad.

12–6 pm: Fling around town. We recommend these events:

Lower Quad - Bloomers Band @ 1:00, Dischord @ 4:30 Upper Quad - Penny Loafers @ 2:40, Penn Hype @ 5:10, Fried Oreos @ every hour.

But realistically, you’re just gonna follow your fully flung heart/mind/stomach anyway.

6 pm: Time to nom. Take an Allegro’s/Wawa/Jimmy John’s break or head to Flinger Food, 6-8 pm on Shoemaker Green.

6:30 – 8 pm: Nap, if you dare. Intentionally or not. Wake up to darkened skies and freak out that you have missed Fling. Cry.

8 pm: Realize that it's still Friday and the Fling is young. Pull yourself together, wake up all yo friends, then Guetta yourselves to Franklin Field. Despite what your tired/hungover feet are telling you, you already paid $35  (or more, online processing fee-payers/winners of chance to spend money contests) and the trek will be worth it.

SATURDAY 

11 am: Wake up. See if you know where you are. Triple fist some OJ, water, and coffee to prepare for Round 2. 12-6 pm: The height of fling! Here’s what’s going on:

IN THE QUAD:

Lower Quad - Saint Pepsi @ 12:40, Oberhofer @ 2:10, Le1f @ 3:50, Mask and Wig @ 5 Upper Quad - Off the Beat @ 2, Dhamaka @ 3:30, Counterparts @ 4:30

ON CAMPUS:

12 pm: Fling Senior Saturday. Seniors can congregate at Tap House for their literal last hurrah of Fling. 2 pm: Fling Saturday with Kweder, ZBT

OFF CAMPUS PARTIES:

Getting excited there, weren’t you, NARCs? Well we’re not going to write about them here. Have fun, be safe, fling on.

6-8 pm: Focus on resisting the urge to nap. If you go to bed at this point, waking up and realizing that you have missed the last sacred moments of Fling will actually be a cruel reality.

The last hurrah:

8pm – 12am: Hit up the Carnival on College Green for free Pat’s Cheese Steaks, Sugar Philly and Magic Carpet. The mechanical bull probably isn’t the greatest idea at this point, but you do you.

8 pm: Quadramics Presents: Hair. Heading to the Iron Gate Theatre to sit in a chair for 2 hours will probably be more than welcome by now. (But they also have a midnight show Friday for those lookin' to embrace the psychedelic Fling and let the sunshine in post-concert.)

There'll be parties near, far, wherever you are. Some are dry, some are private, some are registered. You'll be able to subtly get your total weekend drink count up to an impressive figure before the big sleep and bigger hangover.

Stay out of jail and stay groovy this weekend, Penn! VIVA FLING.