Just Saying Hey

In case the swarm of juniors taking over Locust decked out in hats and canes didn't tip you off, Hey Day is finally here! Now, what exactly happens on Hey Day, you plebeian underclassmen ask? OBVIOUSLY, a simple, sober procession down Locust is the main attraction! Activities that rival those of Fling are going down as we write this post, and we're here to provide our own reimagining of one of those sacred traditions: the Quad encounter between the drunken junior and the current freshman living in what was once that junior's room.

1, 2, 3...action!

(A loud, obnoxious knock is heard. Freshman, currently buried in a pile of PSYC-001 notes, scared and startled, approaches the door. Freshman proceeds to timidly open said door.)

Junior: O-M-G, hiii!!! (Motioning to other friends who were unfortunate enough to live in Hill their freshman year.) Come on in, guys!

Freshman: ...can I help you?

Junior: Awww, you're so cute! See, I like totally lived here my freshman year, and now that I'm a--a--(tears begin to roll down the Junior's face) senior...I just wanted to see if my former hall is surviving without me!

Freshman: That's really, like, special and all, but I have an exam on Monday, so--

Junior: We should totally take a selfie together!!! (Gestures to intrusive non-Quad friends.) LOL, my RA and I totally had sex there (points to freshman's bed), there (points to freshman's desk), there (points to freshman's sink), and there (points to freshman's bay window)!

Freshman: I really didn't need to know that...

Junior: Okay, so about that selfie--wait, one sec...(Face turns green.)

Freshman: You've got to be FUCKING kidding me.

(Junior proceeds to throw up all over freshman's room.)

Scene. 

And with that, we wish a Happy Hey Day to all who are celebrating!