Penn Tied For Second Most Respected University In State

At Penn, we are used to being ranked number one and occasionally other numbers. That's why we shed a tear when we heard that Pennsylvania residents ranked us the second most respected university in the state, along with Carnegie Mellon! C'mon, we were featured in both Jeopardy and the Times' crossword recently! Doesn't that mean something?

Alas, Penn State came in at #1, despite 70% of all our small talk clarifying that we don't go there. Although if we think about it, these findings do make some sense, given the fact that we make shirts like these and are hated by Philly Mag with the passion of a thousand suns. On the bright side, we do have a lot of dopplegangers. Apparently, that's just the price of popularity.