Penn Ranked Most Polite College...Thank You?

In the endless drama of college rankings based upon completely arbitrary metrics, sometimes Penn fares well and sometimes it doesn't. Rarely, though, are we presented with headlines as baffling as this one. Upon discovery that Penn was ranked "most polite" on a list based entirely upon the frequency of "please" and "thank you's" in GrubHub instructions, things started to make a lot more sense.

The methods of this ranking are obviously pretty sketchy, as it doesn't take into account how delivery persons are actually treated by their intoxicated customers – or how embarrassingly close the addresses are to the dining establishments.

But at least we can all claim a little bit of the victory. Unlike our "dangerous" neighborhood or rich alumni, current Quakers can all celebrate the fact that we built this one together, with every passive aggressive "HOLD MAYO PLEASE" and drunken "thank you!!!!" bringing us one step closer to the top.