17 New Penn Traditions To Consider Starting

Congratulations, you managed to sleep with someone under the button without getting caught on tape (yes, there are cameras, buhbye grandkids’ legacy). Or maybe you didn’t succeed. Maybe the PennPo cramped your style, or  maybe you just couldn’t get it up.

Whatever your misfortune, we feel some new Penn traditions are in order! We’re tired of peeing on Ben, failing midterms because of the compass, yada yada yada. So instead, summon your peers and have a go at one of these new traditions:

- Practice abstinence on top of the button 

- Bathe in the clawfoot tub in the Kelly Writers House bathroom

- Ensure a brighter future by removing a brick from DRL every year (slowly but surely, it will cease to exist) 

- Continue your rational boycott of Qdoba

- Introduce rats to the highrises

- Introduce bats to the highrises

- TP AGut’s house on Halloween

- Rummage through AGut’s garbage for gold

- Host a sit-in on the steps of DRL

- Give the Ben Franklin statue a scrub down

- Start a food fight in Commons using only gluten free foods

- Christen a new smoking spot

- Spend a night under the recently renovated 38 ^th Street bridge (aka the Bridge of Broken Dreams)

- Steal a cart from the highrises on move-in day and roll down the Bridge of Broken Dreams

- Play ‘Where’s Waldo’ with the Theta house (Get it? Because they’re blocked by a building now!)

- Streak through the Quad on the first day of snow