36 Hours In Huntsman

When we're not using our Facebook feeds as a source of world news, we sometimes scan the headlines of the New York Times. The Grey Lady's 36 Hours in [insert city you hazily remember from your semester abroad] feature inspired us to appreciate what's in our own backyards. Read at your own risk: Huntsman is a crazy, crazy place.

Monday

7:30am: Start your day early at the Bridge Cafe with a cup o' Joe, which is "fair-trade and Rain Forest Alliance certified," according to their website. Prepping for a soul-sucking day has never been so easy. 

9:00am: Snag a fresh copy of the DP from behind the guard's desk on the first floor. Sit in the Forum (if you're lucky, you'll be able to snag a couch to yourself) and complete the Monday crossword. 

10:00am: Use your "free" Wharton prints to make copies of today's lecture. Stare at the computer screen next to you and try to figure out where the kid to your left is applying to internships. 

10:15am: If you have an iPhone, it's probably dead by now. Lock it in one of those dorky charging stations in the Forum. 

10:30am: Audit LGST207 (Sports Business Management) taught by Scott Rosner. Complain about your Fantasy Team and earn points for participation.

12:00pm: Lunch time. Convince a Freshman you're recruiting for a Big Four consulting firm and that you'll give him a first round (in two years) if he swipes you into Commons.  

1:30pm: Pick up some dessert in the vending machine by the MBA Cafe. It takes Black Amex credit cards!

3:00pm: Stop by another class--this time, try the core with FNCE100, Corporate Finance. Drop the word "NPV" in your next conversation. 

6:00pm: Dinner time! Order Mizu to Huntsman. Pretend you don't know it's a block away. 

8:00pm: Walk into a random GBM. Sign up for the listserv. Edit your resume's LEADERSHIP & ACTIVITIES section immediately to reflect changes.

9:00pm: Find an empty GSR. Play Wii Tennis on the giant screen. Pass out from exhaustion.

10:00pm: Wake up to the brightness of a flashlight. It's the security guard asking for your Penn ID. Hand them your wallet and pass out again.

Tuesday:

6:00am: Wake up under the desk next to the guy whose GSR you stole. 

7:00am: Wander the halls looking for leftover food from last night's underattended GBMs. Finding none, race yourself down the 3rd floor hallway in the cubby chairs.

7:30am: Bridge Cafe opens! Yay! Try an egg-white omelet on wheat with a Green Machine Naked Juice to go. Wait for the new edition of the DP to be delivered. Read the online version while you wait.

9:00am: Lounge outside on the second floor by the MBA Cafe. Concentrate on picking a concentration.

10:04am: Walk up the down escalator.

10:08am: Walk down the up escalator.

12:00pm: Attend recruiting event with free lunch. Ask if you can keep the leftover food.

1:00pm: Find the separate elevator bank that brings you up to the Wharton tower. Attend a random professor's office hours. Ask him why he doesn't have the corner office. 

3:00pm: Play with Legos in OPIM415/Product Design. Consider working for Google.

4:00pm: Call into Prof. Rosner's Sports Business live radio show on Wharton's Sirius XM station (yes, Wharton have one of those). Ask him on-air why he didn't give you a better grade on your paper. He tells you that you should've discussed it after class. 

6:00pm: Earn some well-deserved privacy in the bathroom stalls by the Walnut Street entrance. 

8:00pm: Call your girlfriend, and make out under the table in the GSR.

Wednesday:

8:00am: Order a McMuffin from McDonalds. Secretly wish you were spending 36 hours in McDonalds. 

9:00am: Try to find something in the building that isn't sponsored. Toilets don't count. 

11:00am: Spot a tour of prospective students. Pretend to be one, then realize you're not pretending because you're actually lost.

12:00pm: Take a virtual tour

1:00pm: Purchase apparel

3:00pm. Network. Innovate. Syngerize. Integrate. Strategize. Sustainability-ize. Start-up.

5:00pm: Crash Wharton MBA Happy Hour. Flirt with an MBA. Ask them if it's true that law students do it better. They say you be the judge of that. You laugh. Puns!