Penn's Most and Least Family-Friendly Places

There’s a lot of hullabaloo at Penn this weekend with families and what not gallivanting around. But there will surely be gaps in your pre-planned itinerary where you just don’t know where to take your parent, and we want to help.

It makes sense: you want to keep things PG while they’re around, and leave no room for speculation as to the amount of substances work that gets done here. We wouldn’t want them to think we’re some sort of party school. What an absurd idea! So we put together a list of places you might think to take your parents, and weighed in on whether or not you should.

The Biopond

+ You can play this video the whole time.

+ You can explain that even though Penn has an urban campus, we have natural things too! Like trees and leaves and water!

- It’s more a cesspool than an element of nature.

- You might run into some hooligans doing this.

The Button

+ Your parents can finally get that photo of you in front of Penn’s iconic Button.

- They’ll probably embarrass you by popping their heads in and out of the Button’s holes.

- They might try to play on the Button with the toddlers.

- There’s always the chance that people are getting lucky underneath. We hear it happens, and that could be awkward.

The Bookstore

+ Your folks are guaranteed to splurge on Penn Parent apparel, and you can slip a sweatshirt into their pile with ease.

+ Your parents will be surrounded by other parents buying things and feel the peer pressure we feel every day.

- They might realize that THIS is where all of those Bursar charges are coming from...

Your Dorm Room

+ You can show them how much of a martyr you are for putting up with such a messy roommate.

- They’ll see your alcohol and party favors.

- They’ll see your room.

- They’ll realize that the messy side of the room is yours, and your mom will give you the lecture you knew was coming but tried to avoid.

- Yea, just tell them they can’t see it because your roommate is sleeping…all weekend.

Qdoba

+ There’s a 99% chance that you won’t see anyone you know there!

+ You can complain about how bad Penn’s food scene is and they’ll agree.

+ The extras are free now! Didn’t you hear?

- It will be hard to lie yourself out of this one if anyone sees you.

- You’ll be calling in sick all week.

- For some reason the cops are there 24/7…and they might recognize you from that time you hopped the fence during NSO. Why run the risk?

Penn Museum

+ You can gush about how you take advantage of Penn’s resources.

- Don’t let it slip that the first and last time you went here was the Toga Party

- Also keep quiet about that class you dropped because the walk was too long. Your mom will never understand how far that is from Harnwell, no matter how hard you try.

The Rave

+ Kill two hours of time without really having to do anything.

+ Maybe see a movie you like? Gone Girl anyone?

- Yea no, we don't really want to go either, but it was a good thought!

Enjoy the remainder of your Family Weekend ladies and gents! If anything absurd happens, we expect nothing less, send us a tip to tips@underthebutton.com!