Random Dude At A Party Vol. 1
October 5, 2014 at 6:30 pm
Welcome to our first edition of RDAP, where we roam the weekend streets and talk to people at their not quite finest but definitely funniest moments. In line for the keg, in line outside, behind the bar, next to the speakers, low-key ducking behind the trash cans, we will find you. And make you famous. Meet our first dude, whose jolly drunken face shall of course remain completely anonymous.
SAE, October 3rd, 2014.
Q: If you could be any former president who would you be?
A: I would be…uh…I would be…Theodore Roosevelt, because then I could grow a sick-ass mustache.
Q: What is your spirit animal?
A: My spirit animal is a small Jewish boy.
Q: Would you rather have vaginas for ears, or penises for fingers?
A: Penises for fingers as long as I could move them. [conspicuous side look] fingering a girl would be great.
Q: If a white girl goes to New York and she doesn’t instagram it, did it really happen?
A: No. I’m a stark believer in Empiricism and as a result, if you can’t document something you can’t really show that you were there, and of course it didn’t happen; a big part of being a human is experiencing the universe, and without that facet of being, then it didn’t happen.
Q: Are you ticklish?
A: Incredibly so, especially around my crotch region.
Q: When was the last time you cried and why?
A: Right now, because these questions are awful.
Q: Can Ebola be stopped?
A: Absolutely not. We should embrace it and become one super-ebola person.