The 6 Types of RAs

By now you're deep enough into fall semester to realize we have these things called Residential Assistants (Advisors?) in and around campus. They're an abundant species, and you've probably seen them roaming the halls of your college house like they run the place. Well they do, and here are the different varieties that you gotta look out for.

The Aloof

You only ever saw them for that first floor meeting in August. Since then, there've only been whisperings of their existence. They're either shut in their extra spacious rooms all day, or are in  another dimension. Often too cool for their own good.

The Enforcer

Heed our words: do not make The Enforcers mad, or else they'll bring down the hammer of Residential Policies and Procedures on yo' sorry ass. Something happened during their nurturing childhood that made them love the law.

The Blind Eye Turner

They know what they saw...but that's about it.  You know 'em, you love 'em; these are the RAs that don't condone  forbidden behavior, but are human enough to pretend they didn't see it.

The Drinking Buddy

These happy-go-lucky fellas are always down to not stop the party. Instead of taking disciplinary action, they'll ask why you got such shitty vodka, and why there isn't more. They trust your judgement. Don't let them down.

The Hyper-Extrovert

These RAs are eager to please, eager to make friends, and eager to have just the most perfect sunny time all of the time always. If you're the type that's annoyed by these types, prepare for one of these.

The All Star

These RAs are the perfect blend of leadership and friendship. Trustingness and trustworthiness. Careful and caring. Respect them. Cherish them. Hold onto them, baby, hold onto them.