Ivy Day Stones: Ranked, Sort Of
November 6, 2014 at 9:58 am
Ivy Day Stones are like literally the SABSiest things on campus. Hailing all the way back to 1873, these stones are meant to constitute "a continuing and ever-growing exhibition of one history of the university." Apparently Penn's history is pretty boring since most of the stones rival the lack of creativity exemplified by most Penn Students. Since all Ivy Stones aren't created equal, we decided to give them the superlatives they deserve.
Most Likely To Unleash A Genie
A google search for Aladdin + University of Pennsylvania confirms that no, he did not go here.
Strangest Reference To A Childhood Game
In case you forgot, yes, this Ivy Day stone is for the U of P!
Best Use Of An Imaginary Language
Nice try, nerds! We still have no idea what language this is.
Most Likely To End Up in Slytherin
LOL, WHARTON JOKE GOES HERE, or better yet, an ugly t-shirt...
The Oldest One We Could Find
Scientifically speaking, everyone who was there that day is probably dead.
Most Likely To Mess Up Spelling The Word IVY
Enough with the girly-curvy half J. Heteronormative letters only.
Most Ominous
Yes, this is a bad joke about WWII.
Most Likely To Be On An Overused Sweatshirt Design
Seriously, who decided having a big X with things in each quadrant was a cool logo design? We are looking at you, Oz.
Most Likely To Be Sadly Made In A Pottery Class
Poor, G.U. Relifuss. That lizard is depressing.
Laziest Attempt
Nobody sticks the Class of 1896 in a corner, except Penn President Charles Curtis Harrison.