Alternatives To Make Your Alternative Spring Break More Alternative

The only reason why anyone goes away for Spring Break is to post the pictures on Facebook and hopefully impress their hot lab partner. Whether you are hitting the slopes in Aspen, or in PV, break is all about being cooler than that loser in your recitation who always glares at you for coming in hungover. But frankly, trips to PV or Istanbul, much like a Canada Goose jacket, are no longer a one-way ticket to sceney stardom. Lucky for you, we have scoured the globe to find you the most alternative spring break spots: 

PV:

Home of the now defunct minor league hockey team, the Arizona Sundogs, and also the now defunct indoor football team, the Arizona Adrenaline, Prescott Valley, Arizona is the place to be this Spring Break. Recent major community additions include a $15M regional rehabilitation hospital and a $22M public library, so get ready to turn up in your villa. 

Appalachia Habitat for Humanity: 

Come for the most underground warehouse party around! Smoke all the cigarettes you want inside, as this warehouse is actually a functioning livestock barn. Just stay away from Billy the sheep – he bites. Dangerous shooting, non-ironic black-and-white photography, and DIY farm-to-table meals included!

Your Non-Jewish Grandma's Florida House:

Your Jewish grandma's Miami place: not-alternative. Your Goy Grandma's Miami place: WOW, really alternative. Your future Hillel spouse will be shocked when they see you cruising downtown Miami, pork carnitas bowl in hand.

The Couch of Your Junior Prom Date:

You may be a frat star now, but don't forget your roots! That awkward girl you took to junior prom recently broke up with her college boyfriend, so now is time to rekindle the fire. Who needs a coke-fueled six-some in Mexico when you can watch Netflix while her mom asks you about life at Penn State?

Chili's: 

So alternative, it doesn't even exist! Seriously, RIP.