Fisher-Bennett Student Enjoys Luxurious Toilet Dinner

Penn students know how to party. When Playboy crowned us king (heteronormative rankings only), they clearly imagined this poor student feverishly munching away on a Fisher-Bennett toilet. He or she may or may not have been rolling on molly or other cool drugs that we have totally done before, which explains why the pretzels are haphazardly spilt across the tile floor. Multitasking always comes at a price, and this price clearly was 2 dollars and 48 cents. While we cannot fault this Quaker for trying to enjoy a bathroom snack, we always stick with the food that forced us to that bathroom in the first place (ya...Commons).