Exclusive Formals You've Probably Never Heard Of

It's that time of the semester: Every group you're involved in, no matter how small and obscure, is probably hosting a formal at Bistro La Baia or one of the various permanently docked ships event spaces in the Philadelphia area. If you didn't snag an invite to these lesser known parties, however, then you're clearly not in the scene.

• People who frequent Wawa late night formal: Open (hoagie) bar. Interactive touch screen e-vite.
• West Philly Tutoring Project formal: Bring your student. Get crunk.
• Fossil Free Penn formal: Bike there. Lights dimmer than normal, BYO musical instrument to reduce electricity use.
• Flyerers formal: Everyone aggressively asks each other to dance but is always denied.
• People who go to stat office hours at the same time: It is held in VP basement and is actually just a study session.
• People who live on the top floor of each high rise formal: Everyone is late because the elevator ride to the ground floor took 20 minutes.
• Construction workers formal: It takes place in the giant hole outside Hillel.
• Transfer student formal: Pretty sure this legitimately exists.
• Freshman that sign up for the Away From Kitchen dining plan (the one with 100,000,000 meal swipes): It’s at Commons.
• People who have been MERTed: Dry event.