Penn Study Will Investigate How Your Angsty Tweets Clog Your Arteries

While students have been away, a lot of crazy stuff has been going down at Penn – including a Penn prof nabbing an NIH grant to study what your tweets say about your heart health.

Researchers are hoping to learn more about the relationship between hostile, hateful, and dramatic tweets and heart disease. So if your doctor starts asking for your Twitter handle instead of taking your blood pressure, you'll probably have dear old Pennsylvania to blame. 

While hostility on Twitter could cause one's bitter, angsty heart to give out later in life, Penn should probably look into the health consequences of a few other aspects of one's social media presence as well. Your follower/followee ratio is clearly linked to the likelihood that you die alone, surrounded by a herd of indifferent cats. The more creative your snap stories, the more likely you are to experience a horrible, selfie-related tragedy. And of course, if you're #eatingfortheinsta every day, it's probably the case that you actually will clog your arteries and perish.