10 People We Wish Were Penn Parents

Well, well, what do you know – it's somehow already Family Weekend! That should clear the air as to why your DFMO last night at Smoke's seemed a little older than usual – he said he was a grad student, but his dad bod and "I Met My Wife At Penn" button suggested otherwise. Now, you're going to see a lot of different kinds of families during the next couple of days, so do try to keep an open mind. However, there will be some parents that won't be visiting our come-hither campus this weekend. Follow along as we discuss who we wish were a Penn parent. 

1. Jack Nicholson: Why'd he have to send his daughter to Brown? Malia Obama better not follow in her footsteps. 
2. Stephen Colbert: He basically already is one? 
3. John Legend and Chrissy Teigen: This one may in fact be fulfilled. 
4. Meryl Streep: We wouldn't mind if she decided to enroll here herself, though. 
5. David and Victoria Beckham: Brooklyn would totally get a bid from Zete. And Castle. And St. A's. Hell, even Theta would want him.
6. The Pope: Too bad this pious pontiff isn't really allowed to become a papa. 
7. Joey, the cashier from Wawa: Don't act like you're not Facebook friends with him. 
8. Beyoncé: We don't really care about Blue Ivy; we just want our dreams of a Sasha Fierce-headlined Fling to finally come true. 
9. Lana Del Rey: If we're really talking about who we want as a Fling headliner...
10. Amy Gutmann: Traitor. 

Any other folks whose spawn you wish would grace our hallowed halls? Leave their names in the comments section below!