Greek Life Is Going Green: What To Expect From Penn’s New Eco-Friendly Frat

Ever walk into a party wishing that you could dive into a drunken debate on climate change?! Well the wait is over. Epsilon Eta, a fraternity dedicated to environmental protection, education, and awareness, is coming to Penn. We couldn’t be more excited/curious about this new addition to the Greek Life family. Here’s what we’re expecting will go down at Epsilon Eta shindigs:

1. Everyone getting drunk from spiked green smoothies.

2. Blackout parties: no lights, no DJ, only acoustic guitar music/a capella group performances. Gotta save that electricity.

3. People randomly chanting “reduce, reuse, recycle!!!”

4. One the frat members comes up to you and mentions dropping acid, which turns into a lengthy discussion about the effects of acid rain.

5. Emotional sing-alongs to “It’s Not Easy Being Green” with special guest/wannabe member Al Gore.

6. Every event is BYOC (Bring Your Own Cup) because red plastic Solo cups are an environmental hazard.

7. Drinks named after natural disasters. Who wouldn’t want a shot of Toxic Waste with an Oil Spill as a chaser?

8. Whispering is encouraged in an effort to reduce Philly’s noise pollution level and to prevent its harmful effects (stress, sleep deprivation, hearing loss, and high blood pressure). But more importantly, it keeps Penn Police from shutting things down.

9. Special event: Bring in rotting fruit from dining halls and toss it into Epsilon Eta’s compost pile.

10. Chilling by the bar with a red panda and a giant tortoise from the frat’s endangered species shelter. This place is (bio)DIVERSE.