Homecoming 2015: Ten Penn Rivalries That Are More Intense Than Penn vs. Princeton
November 6, 2015 at 1:00 pm
You’ve probably heard of Penn’s intense rivalry with Princeton, but do you know just how intense it is? Did you know that during Homecoming the two archenemies battle it out in a duel for Ivy League supremacy? You probably didn’t, so here are ten other Penn rivalries that put the Penn vs. Princeton rivalry into perspective:
1) You vs. That one faulty brick on Locust Walk
You trip over that brick EVERY SINGLE TIME. And yes, every time, someone sees you fall. Probably your crush.
2) You vs. IPad Tipping Machines
Are you supposed to tip at a food truck? At Federal Donuts? At HubBub? This is too much math for the social ivy.
3) You vs. The one mouse in your room you can’t kill
Even though you put down about a hundred mousetraps, it’s you that feels trapped. It’s the mouse’s world, and we are all just living in it.
4) You vs. Sitar
Any meal at Sitar is an emotional rollercoaster: first you’re incredibly satisfied and ten minutes later you wonder how such incredible food could make you feel so horrible.
5) Cav's vs. Blarney’s
Can you really ever choose between these two fine institutions of fun?
6) You vs. Van Pelt backpack checkers
Why do you put us through this emotional and logistical torture? We promise there will never be a day when we try to steal a book about sanctioned violence in early Chinese history.
7) You vs. Snap Story moderator who won’t include your snap
While we’ve narrowed the true identity down to one of the Ivy League Presidents (we’re looking at you, Amy), this rivalry can only be won once you’ve been included in the prestigious story.
8) Le Anh’s vs. The Real Le Anh
Will The Real Le Anh please stand up? This real-life Clue situation teaches us: This is Le Anh’s World, and we are all just living in it.
9) Sunset Blush vs. Chillable Red
Which flavor of Franzia will poison you less? Is Chillable a real word?
10) Following your passion vs. Paying the bills
YEAH, UTB JUST GOT REAL.