Last Minute Valentine's Gifts From Furniture Campus Home Store

You might remember when we wrote about the Furniture Campus Home Store a while ago, when they had a "Grand Opening" for their new Asian Food Market. Turns out that not only is the store great for chairs and instant noodles, it's also great for last minute gifts on Valentine's Day. Amazon orders won't get here by tonight, so we've assembled some of the best options below.

• "World Map Desk"

This is a great gift for anyone whose valentine loves to travel, but who can't afford tickets to a foreign place. Every time your loved one looks down at her desk, they'll see "UZBEKISTAN" poking out from behind their homework and think of you.

• Sauce For Tomato Garlic Prawns

Cooking is sexy! Cook for your valentine this year. Everyone knows some of the common natural aphrodisiacs: tomatoes, avocados, chocolate, and cured animal penises to name but a few. Too often forgotten are garlic and prawns. These pungent provisions set the mood like little else can.

• Unbreakable Stainless Steel Food or Beverage Bottle

Show your valentine that your love is unbreakable and invincible, like this stainless steel mug. As long as this mug stays functional, so does your relationship. Note: after giving your valentine that whole speech, be really careful not to break the mug.

• Prego Roasted Garlic & Herb Sauce

Get her preggo. This is a double entendre, because Prego is a sauce, but preggo is slang for pregnant. 

• Chillout Mini Tower Fan

Got a cool valentine? Or maybe a really hot one? Either way, this fan is the perfect gift, and comes in two colors. The package makes quite clear why it's a great present: it's "Soooo Cool!"

• Shiatsu Neck, Shoulder, & Back Massager

Just look how happy the dude on the box looks. For when you aren't there and your valentine needs a massage, this thing has got you covered. Soothing heat in either the home, or the office? Who could resist.

• Bed

You can have sex in this. Good for a valentine who doesn't own a bed.

• Shake Weight Pro

Pretty obvious choice here.

• iHome ColorTunes

Make your valentine nostalgic with a throwback iPod-touch-based dock straight out of 2009. It costs $69.99, which is a classic number but a ridiculous price. 

• Dried Prunes

Forget rose petals on the floor and the bedspread. Just cover the floor with dried prunes, which, like roses, come in both red and white varieties. Unlike rose petals, you can eat these. But you probably shouldn't.

• Clock with Pictures of Babies

Analog clock. Baby pictures. This is for a valentine who needs a sign you're committed-- it says "I'm in it for the long haul." Whose babies are they? No one knows. That doesn't matter. Don't tell your valentine it was on sale.

Armed with these ideas, your Valentine's Day should be a resounding success. If it's a disaster, don't blame us. We told you not to eat the prunes.